Need a no bullshit (but hilarious) advice on how to get free sex?

In the dating and hook up world online sometimes you need straight forward assistance.  You don’t need a middle aged matron with digestive cookie breath telling you how to get tail.

You also won’t get much help from the Ed Hardy wearing club rats who claim to be brilliant sex machines and XXX hook up Don Juans (remember, if you’re banging people who are morbidly obese, or black out drunk, you can’t call yourself a stud or a “sex positive” slut).

When you want to learn about hate sex and the different flavours of cum read our blog.

Get over to XXX Adult Cupid and read up on our informative and outrageous articles.

Here are some examples of the fantastic adult assistance we deliver. Want to know how to satisfy your lover on your anniversary? Read our XXX article on the best XXX anniversary sex acts.

 Here’s a small sample of our advice:

1. Good morning sex. Set the alarm clock (or his cellphone) an hour ahead so you have extra time to work with in case it’s a work day. Get up first and rinse off, then wake him up by sitting on his face. Tell him he’d better not wash afterwards because you want him to taste you all day. Ride him cowgirl and reverse cowgirl and then once he cums, get up and make the man some breakfast. That’s something he’ll think about all day.

 Laugh while learning about ways to hook up

Isn’t it time we all stopped being so serious about sex? WTF man? Why does everyone have to be all weird about things? Read our articles and laugh your head off while still getting quality info on hooking up. We can teach you how to bang a bible thumper and make her laugh.

Life is half tongue in cheek and so are we

Seriously, not all of the advice on here is supposed to be taken as is. Often we’re writing with farce in one hand and information in the other. If you want to make sure you’re getting real advice, just check in with yourself and see if your bullshit detector is blinking. Either way, you’re going to enjoy hanging out on our sex positive blog.