Want an adult friend? Ditch the tube socks

In: Uncategorized

16 Dec 2011

Tube socks are cheap, comfortable and a big huge no no when it comes to trying to get a XXX time from any woman not from a birch covered cabin in the mountains.

Why are tube socks such a bad idea? That’s what I’ll be talking about today. Yeah, it’s a sad thing to have to face facts and give up a beautiful friendship with a crusty bff, but unless you want to get the same amount of tail as an awkward teenager for the rest of your life, you might want to give this article a read.

Argument one

Tube socks are ugly

(except on her)

If you are lucky to get a hottie home to hump after a night out at the club, once you take off the pants and she gets a load of your tube socks, you can forget about this ever becoming a regular “friends with benefits” situation. A stained, old tube sock hanging flacidly from your foot while you’re slamming into a hot girl, is going to soil a lovely experience for her. She will associate sex with you with that sad, limp sock.

Argument two

Tube socks=free sex

(with yourself)

The problem about children of celebrities is that they have no motivation to do anything with their lives. Everything they could ever want is handed to them. This doesn’t bode well for character development or good self esteem. It’s the same thing with tube socks. If you’re always having sex with someone you love (yourself) and giving yourself the easy clean up, love tug, there is no motivation to find romance outside of your own sock drawer. Toss those socks and find a reason to leave the house!

Argument three

If you manage to find an adult friend…

She will dry heave if she finds your “used” socks

If you have been lucky enough to find a sexy friend or have managed to hide your tube sock problem for a few weeks and then she finds some monster crusty socks under your bed, that bitch is going to blow chunks, not you. Seriously, there is nothing more barf worthy than finding someone else cum rag. Want to get rid of a girl fast after sex? Just toss her one of your “is it frozen or, just cum jacked” tube socks to clean up with after you’ve tossed hot shoelaces on her belly. She will run for the hills.

That’s the story folks. If you want to have free sex, an adult friend or a real match, ditch those tube socks…for good!

So those are my arguments for why you should ditch the tube sock in order to get an adult friend. Don’t agree? Send me a rebuttal and I’ll post it right up here with my article.

1 Response to Want an adult friend? Ditch the tube socks


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