Virginity and the many ways to lose it

In: Dating Safety|First Impression|Sex

20 Oct 2011

Your virginity is like a XXX Ed Hardy t-shirt. At first you wore it with pride, after all, it’s pretty expensive and everyone else seemed to have one too. Then, out of nowhere people started wearing better, hotter shirts.

Suddenly you felt weird being the only one still that ridiculous, over hyped t-shirt. Finally you took it off and found out how awesome it was to wear a silk tank top, or a cashmere sweater. Now you could wear anything you wanted, since you weren’t still clinging to that stupid shirt.

People lose their virginity in many ways. I hit the country standard, lost it at sixteen to my first serious boyfriend. I didn’t tell him I was a virgin, because I hate sentimentality. Considering he looked like he butchered a pig with his dick after we had sex, I’m guessing it was pretty obvious.

Today I’ll share a few…unusual stories of virginities lost. Warning, this isn’t for the faint of heart.

The horseback riding fiasco: My girlfriend Jean is an avid English rider. She is now part of the York University riding team and she is a fierce competitor. She loves riding more than any guy so I guess it’s only fitting that she popped her cherry one day in a bareback jump off. Here’s how she said it went down.

” Ok, I’m riding bareback on my Dutch Warmblood gelding, he’s gorgeous. His name is Luxer. So, we’re cantering up to this nice three foot three jump. I’m used to being in a saddle when I’m jumping but my instructor likes us to jump bareback too, that way we really learn how to grip the sides of the horses with our legs. Problem is, Luxer is a wide beast of a horse. I was pretty spread. We went over the jump just fine but when we landed, I slid up a bit, my legs opened even wider and I felt a sharp pain. When I got off, I noticed a bit of blood in my panties. So my horse pooped my cherry! Oh well, at least when I had sex the first time it didn’t hurt.”


I guess that one isn’t an urban myth after all.

The foot fight gone terribly wrong: My co-worker Sandra share her story with me over drinks one night and it kind of…shocked me. Here’s what she said.

” So like, my sister and I are only a year apart and in high school we fought like dogs about clothes, guys, everything. Anyway, one day we were having a foot fight, where, you know, like, you’re lying on the couch and you’re facing each other with the bottoms of your feet touching your opponent’s foot bottoms. It’s like a game of mercy. Sometimes a foot slips and you get a good kick in the ass. This time I gave her a good boot in the butt and she (on purpose!) kicked me in my vajayjay! Like, totally hard. It really hurt. Later when I went to the bathroom, I saw that I’d bled. So I scrubbed my underwear with her toothbrush. She still doesn’t know to this day.”

Sisters, you gotta love them.

This story is my favorite, because it’s very empowering. Girl power rocks!

The “do it yourself-er”: My former roommate Jordan is a pretty awesome woman. She’s a few years older than me and has always been a bit of a mentor. So I was surprised to hear that she didn’t lose her v-card until she was almost twenty three. How she lost it is even better.

“I usually keep it to myself, but I was a total fucking nerd in high school. I didn’t date at all. In College I just focussed on my work and pushed my pussy urges down. So when I was finally finished school and was ready for an adult friend, I suddenly felt really goddamned strange I was still straddled with this hymen bullshit. So I decided to break the fucker myself. I ordered a big black dildo online. I got trashed drunk on tequila and took the black monster out. It was a thick as a thermos and as long as a forearm so I poured a whole tube of K-Y all over it. Then I turned on some porn and shoved that mother fucker into my twat. I swear to God it felt like I popped a zit. It hurt for a second, bit of blood oozed out but then I was hooked. I rode that beast for 6 months before I got my first boyfriend. Jamal was a great guy, but he still came second to my first love.”

So there you have it. When it comes to popping that cherry, there are many different ways to do it. Please, if you have an interesting story, feel free to share in the comment section!

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